Mental Health Monday #8

Just so tired...

I think the lack of posts says it all. I've been so tired recently, just lacking energy in general. I'm not going to say I'm getting enough sleep because I know I'm not. Stupid internet.... with interesting content... that keeps me up. It's more than that though. It's like a deep rooted dissatisfaction that drains my energy because I'm not doing things I enjoy. 

Most if it stems from the place I'm spending most of my life. There's nothing wrong with my job, it's easy enough and the people are nice but I'm not built to work in an office. I'd rather be outside exploring or creating something. Whether that's performing or making art with my hands. I'm craving fun. There are so many things I would like to do but I don't know where to start or I feel like I'm too old to start doing it. It sounds rubbish but money is a factor as well. I need to be able to pay my bills. Each day I follow my same routine, get up eat, get ready, go to work, gym (sometimes), go home, eat and then bed eventually. I'm soooooo bored.

I need to find a way to bring more excitement to my life. I haven't posted because I feel like I'm not doing anything interesting so I haven't got anything worth saying. I need to work out what my thing is as well... I like video games and movies and other nerdy stuff and I need to work out how to make that into an interesting post. 

I need to spice up this blog but all these things take energy and right now that's not something I have a lot of. I have enough to get through my work day and then I don't have the brain power left to put a plan together. It's one of those viscous cycles. 

There are so many things I need to get done. I need to get my tattoo sleeve finished, I was thinking about cutting my hair a lot shorter but I don't know anymore. I need to eat better, I was considering going vegetarian but I have so many food allergies. I need to put more effort in at the gym. I want to get back to writing my book. I want to put more into this blog. Not to mention more into how well I take care of my body in general. Sleep, eat, gym all that stuff. There's the social stuff as well, I need to fit that in too. I could do with tidying up my space and my car could really do with a clean. I'd like to do some more sculpting. There are video games I need to finish and books to read. There just isn't enough time. I want more time to do the things I want to do and enjoy doing. Luckily I have a week off next week and I hope I don't waste it lying around. I might plan a list of things and make sure I tick one thing off a day.

My self discipline needs work, I'm very good at talking myself out of doing the useful and the good things. I've got the self kindness working for me I need to get the discipline down now as well. Being a healthy adult is complicated.

The dream is to one day have a job that doesn't feel like work. It's possible I know it Haha! I'm going to get it all worked out this week so I can be productive next week... that's the plan. That's going to be my blog content! See something's sort themselves that easily. It can be done.

Lxx

Ps you can find me on Twitter @Laurenailie0