5 Tips for defusing your anxiety :)

Morning,

I haven’t done a mental health Monday for a quite some time and to be honest it’s representative of the last time I checked in with myself. Properly, I mean. Like, actually sat and thought through my emotions.

My life has been more manic than usual lately. I moved home for starters and when people told me it was stressful, they weren’t lying. Add on top of that a new job role where my creative endeavours are at the mercy of the CEO and their changing moods and I feel like I have been living on the edge for the past month or so. Deep breath. If you’ve ever been on a rollercoaster you know that feeling you get when you tip over a drop. That terrifying moment where you’re not enjoying it yet. That’s what the past month has been like, white knuckling it because you know it will be over soon haha.

What’s the point of this post though, why am I bothering you with my life troubles that aren’t really anything to complain about? Well, all these first world problems have been setting off my anxiety like you wouldn’t believe. I know I talk about anxiety a lot but it’s a part of my life and something I’m learning how to deal with, so it’s something I can share.

With everything that’s been going on I’ve ignored the anxiety and pushed through. Unsurprisingly I had a mini meltdown on Saturday evening. By meltdown I mean I fell into old behaviours of getting angry over things that don’t warrant it, deliberately picking an argument and allowing myself to be disappointed and hurt. Disappointed over something I don’t even want, if I think about it. Emotions are confusing right?

Now I’ve calmed down I can see where I haven’t been taking the best care of myself. I can clearly see each red flag that I ignored along the way.

I’m back to living on my own again and while I am excited about having my own space, I was terrified about being alone. Being responsible for an animal and a property and myself, it was quite overwhelming. The littlest things were too much to cope with.  I had a fear that my toaster was going to catch fire, so I wasn’t using it. I was tip toeing around my flat, so I didn’t draw attention to myself. My day was ruined because my nail technician had to reschedule my appointment when I had already driven there. My OCD was kicking off because people weren’t parking in their allocated spaces. It makes me laugh, to my brain the other residents need to park in their correct spaces so that the car park is correctly organised. It’s like they’re colour coded and I can see the chaos when it’s all jumbled up. That’s a red flag for me, when my OCD kicks in it’s a little sign that my anxiety is acting up. In my infinite wisdom I ignored it, I had too much going on. Too busy to take notice of what was anxiety and what was normal thinking.

That’s another thing, while I can tell a panic attack apart from regular life and know when my anxiety skyrockets suddenly, it’s the day to day subtle build up that gets me. It’s one small thing each day that grows until I have a meltdown and it’s not until I come out the other side that I realise that was what was happening. It’s like coming up for air when you’ve been drowning. The fog and the panic subside, and I can look back through my thought processes and irrational moments. I can pick out the times where my thoughts were anxiety driven.  Where I should have done a mental health check in but didn’t.

I need to work on recognising these things at that time and nipping them at the bud before they get too big.

Now I know that it’s not as easy as switching it off and feeling better. It’s a mixture of small actions that ease it bit by bit and a healthy foundation to start with. Sounds so easy…

Anyway, below are my top five tips that I know help me, even if I don’t follow them all the time haha!

1.      1..  Get a good night’s sleep.

This isn’t an easy one. Sometimes you just can’t fall asleep no matter how tired you are and there is nothing more stressful than tossing and turning knowing you need to get up early. My advice here is to tire yourself out during the day and start winding down an hour before you go to bed. Slow your brain down try not to watch or do anything to stimulating for your brain and cut down on the electronics.

Getting a good night’s sleep really does help and I’ve noticed that my ability to cope is much lower when I’m tired. I really do need to take my own advice on this one…but internet…

2.       2. Exercise and healthy eating.

This helps to tire me out. It’s also a good time to problem solve, I find that my brain thinks more rationally rather than emotionally whilst I’m exercising. Perhaps it doesn’t have the capacity to run away with me whilst it’s focusing on the physical. It’s quite grounding.

Obviously, there are the health benefits as well. I have more energy and my joints are thankful for having the weight lifted. My self confidence has grown since I shed a few pounds too.

I do go to the gym but on the days where I can’t force myself, and I’m not forcing myself, I have weights at home and a selection of exercises I do.

Eating wise I’m just not buying the bad stuff. If it isn’t in my home, then I can’t eat it and I’m trying to not be lazy when it comes to cooking. I bought vegetables and everything.

3.       3. Not juggling so much.

This one I struggle with. Letting go of activities that I simply haven’t got the time for and just doing what I can manage. For example, being tired and working all day with the thought of having to go to the gym straight after was stressing me out. I was stressing because I didn’t want to go and then stressing because I didn’t go. I’m learning to not beat myself up about it. I can always work out at home. I’m sure I’ve said this before. I’m still working on it.  

It also might mean giving up some of the fun stuff too. Recently I’ve had to take a break from playing Roller Derby. They moved times and venues and just getting there after work was another stress that I couldn’t manage. So, I had to let it go for now, I love it so I will be going back.

Just because you must let it drop for now doesn’t mean you can’t pick it up later.

4.       4. Let it go.

Like the point above but this one is more of a control issue. When I get stressed, I try to get things back under control by trying to force it to be better. Does that make sense? I’m worried that a friend is pulling away, so I hold on tighter and try to behave in a way that I think won’t cause problems. I’m worried that I might be fired from my job, so I try to fix it, or make sure I have a back up plan. I’m worried that my cat will get taken away, so I try to keep her as quiet as possible. Am I making the right choices? What if I get it wrong? Trust me I can worry about almost anything. I can work myself up and make myself anxious. When I catch myself in those moments where I’m low key panicking and my thoughts are going a hundred miles an hour, I must remind myself not to sweat the small stuff.

I like to think of it as holding onto the threads of fate. Each one something I’m trying to keep attached to and control. It sounds dramatic but it helps me to envisage letting go of the silvery, fine threads and watching them drift away. I enjoy good cinematography so picturing it that way helps me.

The important part is to let go of what you have no control over. It’s a work in progress…

5.       5. Slow down.

This is the one I get a lot of stick for. I get told I move too slowly, and people get frustrated when I take my time.

When I’m anxious I rush things. My words when I’m speaking, my movements, my thoughts. So, I deliberately slow everything down and I feel less manic. I stop stuttering and mixing up my words, I stop bouncing off objects because of poor space awareness and I can process my thoughts better.

It’s such a simple one but I feel it’s underrated. It’s getting grounded for me.

There are lots of other little things I do to help, I talk it through with my closest friends and I see a therapist but those steps above are the five biggest things I do for myself.

As I said, now I’ve got myself grounded again I can see everything a bit clearer and I’m using the points above. My flat isn’t scary anymore, in fact as I was sitting by myself this morning, I realised how much I love it. I’m ready to use my toaster haha.

As always, I really hope that this helps you if you need it.

L xx

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